Educating myself.

Alright, so I have not lost any weight this week. But it hasn't been a total failure either. Like I said, all things in moderation.

I've been reading, watching documentaries, and watching crazy scary youtube videos in an effort to educate myself on where my food comes from. Or should I say, where the food I've been eating comes from. After watching some of these things I for sure will no longer be eating them.

Now, I say for sure but I know that like I said moderation will be my friend in this as well. I'm not going to go cold turkey to a totally non-GMO, all natural, all organic diet. I'm not going to waste the food currently in my pantry that is "healthy" although maybe not optimally healthy.

What I am going to do is work towards changing what's in my pantry, changing how I cook, and ceasing to eat out at restaurants that overly process their foods (read McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, etc.) The first two things Abe and I have discussed is changing the way our food budget works and spending a larger amount of money up front for food for entire seasons:

1. Joining Cedarmore Farms CSA
2. Buying bulk, organic, free range, grass fed, no-homones, no-antibiotics, etc. meat (read: buying an entire grass fed cow. Anyone reading this in the Cincy area who is interested in splitting a side of beef or an entire cow with us let me know.)
3. Focusing more on building our soil and expanding our garden to work towards being self sustaining for all of our produce. This year we're going to till up our entire back yard and create a series of garden spaces.
4. Getting two-three chickens to provide eggs.

These are the steps we're taking this year. It will take a lot of dedication and some sacrifice of time to do it that we otherwise don't feel that we have. But this is too important.

I shrunk a little.

So, it's been a week since my renewed commitment to healthy living and I can honestly say I am ever so slightly more healthy than I was this time a week ago.

I lost 2.2 pounds this week and even more than that I came to some great realizations about why I've been failing at this whole thing lately. If you read my other blog you'll know I set some pretty lofty goals for myself during our adoption wait. Get the budget under control and save money. Lose weight. Organize the house. Spend more time as a family. Get the ministry together. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Well, I kept not doing so great. And the main reason is that I'm this hyper vigilant , all or nothing kind of person. If the house is going to be clean, I want it to be clean. If I'm going to be healthy, I'm going to eat flax. You know, insane things. Like scrubbing the tiny grooves in the corner of the floor.  Or not eating anything but lettuce.

And duh....

That never works. It's an impossible standard. So, I always quit. And instead of having a decently clean house, it'd be a filthy house (or in my definition of the word, my husband always still considers it clean). Instead of eating healthy, it'd be McDonald's for lunch almost daily.

So I've made a new commitment. Get ready....

I commit to moderation. 

The house will be decently, livably, lived-in, two-year-old-bubbles-on-the-floor-all-day clean.

I will make decent efforts to be healthy while still enjoying some chinese food, cookies, and pancakes.

I will not freak out if I mess up and I won't quit over one mis-eaten hot fudge cake.

But I will try. Each day. To do better.

End of Day #3

This is the end of day #3 of my serious attempt to get healthy and believe it or not it's been a pretty good day. I've tracked all my food on WW and actually have "points" available to me, so that means I can have a snack!

In addition, thanks to the WeTHRIVE! Health Initiative in Hamilton Co. and the Center for Closing the Health Gap I'm going to be able to find several FREE exercise classes to attend. My goal is to go to one once a week, I might only make every other week with our insane schedule, but...gotta start somewhere!

The beginning of forever.

For my entire life I've struggled with my weight. From my earliest grade school memories I have always been self-conscious about my body. A few years ago, I'd say 2008, I started weight watchers. When I first started I looked like this:

Me, 2008 (And M, I can't believe how young he was. Miss him alot.)

That's me on the end at my heaviest weight at that time.

So I joined Weight Watchers and lost 40 pounds:

And 40 more:

So, then pregnancy happened. I ate like there were no consequences and now, years later, I'm regretting it. Zeke's been outside of my body now for two and a half years and I have no one to blame but myself for my unhealthy lifestyle. When I lost the weight the first time I had friends and family who were actively involved in holding me accountable and now it's just different. So I've decided that I'm going to use my writing abilities and my cooking abilities to help me to lose the weight again. Because here I am now...

...weighing just as much as I did when I started Weight Watchers in 2007/8. 

So here's the deal. I'm going to post on this blog and hopefully it will provide me some accountability, photo documentation, etc. to inspire me to actually get healthy. I'll post new recipes, exercise, and all the things I'm incorporating into my life to make me a healthier me!